Therapy Lessons from the Pickleball Court
There’s something about a pickleball court that brings out everything. The competitiveness. The self-doubt. The desire to do it all right — to get it perfect. Sound familiar?
As a therapist and a semi-pro pickleball coach, I didn’t expect my two worlds to overlap as much as they have. But they do. Every single week. Here are some of the most powerful therapy lessons that show up — right in the middle of the game.
1. Your Inner Critic Loves a Bad Shot
Miss another third shot drop? Speed up at the wrong time? That voice comes in hot:
“Ugh. You always mess that up.”
“You suck.”
“Why can’t you just get it right?”
In therapy, we learn to identify that inner critic — and challenge its story. On the court, it’s a chance to practice that in real time. A missed shot isn’t evidence of failure. It’s feedback. It’s part of learning. And it’s never the whole story, so it’s vital to start to notice the automatic inner attacks and start to soften them. Beating yourself up to be better rarely works the way we hope.
2. You Can’t Think Your Way Into Flow
Pickleball forces presence. If you're overthinking your footwork, your opponent, and your last mistake — you’re out of sync.
Same in life. In therapy, we often talk about how regulation, not rumination, creates peace. You can’t “logic” your way out of anxiety, but you can breathe, reset, and get back into your body. The court teaches that fast. Take some time between points. Slow down and trust that your body knows a lot more than your brain does when the game starts heating up.
3. Communication Is Everything — On and Off the Court
The best doubles teams aren’t always the most skilled. They’re the ones who talk — before, during, and after the point.
“You take middle.”
“Mine. Yours”
“That one’s on me — we’ve got this.”
In therapy, we learn that connection depends on communication — not mind-reading. The same is true in relationships, work, and yes, even pickleball. Clear, respectful communication prevents confusion, resentment, and burnout. It builds trust. And trust is what wins — in every arena.
4. You’re Allowed to Want to Win — and Still Be Kind
Women in particular are often socialized to downplay ambition. To be nice. To not try “too hard.”
But therapy helps you own your drive — without shame. And pickleball gives you a place to practice that. You can play hard. You can want to win. And you can still be a warm, respectful, grounded human. And no — you don’t have to say “I’m sorry” every time you miss a shot. Misses are part of the game, not a character flaw.
5. Repair Matters More Than Perfection
We all blow it. A snapped comment. A frustrated eye roll. A dropped point in a tight game.
What matters most is what comes next:
“That one’s on me — I got tense.”
“Sorry I snapped. Can we reset?”
Therapy teaches us that we don’t need to be perfect — we just need to be real. Repair builds trust. On the court, and off.
Final Thought: The Court Is a Mirror
Pickleball has a way of reflecting what’s already inside us: the pressure, the patterns, the progress. Therapy helps make sense of it. The court helps feel it.
If you’re curious about how to carry emotional insight into everyday life — or how to bring more self-compassion into the spaces where you push yourself — I’d love to help.